


the tragedy of corpse and his accidental dick pic(s)

by mikalia



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Blow Jobs, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bad Flirting, Bottom Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Cat Ears, Chatting & Messaging, Christmas Presents, Cock Piercing, Cock Rings, Comfort, Corpse is Whipped, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Crying, Dick Jokes, Dick Pics, Dildos, Drunk Texting, Drunken Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Meetings, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Gay Panic, Hurt, Idiots in Love, Inappropriate Humor, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, Light Sadism, Lube, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Masturbation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Penis Measuring, Pet Names, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Shy Sykkuno, Situational Humiliation, Soft Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Sykkuno is Bad at Feelings, Sykkuno is a Sweetheart, Tongue Piercings, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:08:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 7,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27809602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikalia/pseuds/mikalia
Summary: in which, corpse is a literal, factual dumbass:sykkuno: who was it for?corpsehusband: do you want me to be honest?sykkuno: surecorpsehusband: me and my friend were comparing cock sizesnow available inrussian
Relationships: Corpse Husband & Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 508
Kudos: 2177





	1. corpsehusband is straight (seriously)

**Author's Note:**

> this is a crack fic please don’t take it seriously, they are real people with a real friendship. but otherwise enjoy it :)

* * *

corpsehusband has sent a photo✔️

* * *

_sykkuno is typing..._

**corpsehusband** :

holy fuck

**corpsehusband** :

I seriously clicked the wrong button

**sykkuno** :

uh well this is awkward

**sykkuno** :

you have a nice thingy haha...

**corpsehusband** :

thanks man

**corpsehusband** :

but seriously buddy I didn't mean to show you my dick sorry

**sykkuno** :

oh yeah it's totally fine. i was just hoping to see your face first

**corpsehusband** :

first?

**sykkuno** :

wait no that's not what i meant

**sykkuno** :

i’m straight

**corpsehusband** :

yeah me too

**sykkuno** :

who was it for?

**corpsehusband** :

do you want me to be honest?

**sykkuno** :

sure

**corpsehusband** :

me and a friend were comparing cock sizes

**sykkuno** :

that’s interesting to say the least

**corpsehusband** :

I'm joking

**corpsehusband** :

I wanted to see if I could use a filter on it

**sykkuno** :

oh-

**sykkuno** :

do you still want to?

**corpsehusband** :

to what?

**sykkuno** :

compare sizes


	2. sometimes you just gotta expect the the unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sykkuno compare dick sizes. yup, that’s it.

**corpsehusband** :

woah there smoothkuno hold your horses you haven't even asked for feet pics yet

 **sykkuno** :

oh no whatever shall i do 

**corpsehusband** :

i’m just teasing

 **sykkuno** :

pfffft that's adorable

 **corpsehusband** :

you're adorable

 **sykkuno** :

ahhh snsjsn nonono

 **corpsehusband** :

but we're you serious?

 **corpsehusband** :

I mean about comparing sizes

 **sykkuno** :

i uh sure

 **sykkuno** :

but wouldn't that be a little weird?

 **corpsehusband** :

I mean just a little

 **sykkuno** :

just a little?

 **corpsehusband** :

mhm

 **sykkuno** :

so uh how big are you...?

 **sykkuno** :

oh god that sounds so bad out of context

 **corpsehusband** :

it sounds bad _in_ context too

 **sykkuno** :

...

 **sykkuno** :

so anyways 🤠

 **corpsehusband** :

how big do you think I am?

 **sykkuno** :

ah i'm not sure

 **sykkuno** :

8 inches?

 **corpsehusband** :

close

 **corpsehusband** :

8.8 inches

 **sykkuno** :

that's...pretty big

 **corpsehusband** :

lmao thanks

 **corpsehusband** :

oh and please don't feel pressured to say anything if you don't want to I don't want to put you in a situation where you feel pressured/uncomfortable

 **sykkuno** :

huh? oh no it's fine completely fine if i trust you corpse

 **corpsehusband** :

thanks for trusting me bud

 **sykkuno** :

i'm 7.2

 **corpsehusband** :

oh?

 **corpsehusband** :

proof? 

* * *

sykkuno has sent a photo✔️

* * *

**corpsehusband** :

...

 **corpsehusband** :

well I guess you weren’t lying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t expect to get such amazing responses in the short while this was posted. 🥺✨ thank you so much for these beautiful and kind words they really keep me going.


	3. porn, why didn’t sykkuno watch porn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sykkuno’s brain can suck a cock (hopefully corpse’s)

**sykkuno** :

i suddenly feel self-conscious

 **corpsehusband** :

don't 

**corpsehusband** :

you're beautiful

 **corpsehusband** :

and that's coming from a straight man

 **sykkuno** :

thank you you're very kind

 **sykkuno** :

i'm glad we met

 **corpsehusband** :

likewise

 **corpsehusband** :

it definitely would have been boring without you

 **sykkuno** :

ahhh needlessly flattering me

 **sykkuno** :

it kind of does make me feel beautiful so thank you

 **corpsehusband** :

it wasn't needless at all

 **corpsehusband** :

I'm just stating facts

 **sykkuno** :

pft

 **sykkuno** :

i sort of wish i had a girlfriend in times like these

 **corpsehusband** :

hm why's that?

 **sykkuno** :

i had to work at myself to take that picture

 **sykkuno** :

this is kind of embarrassing

 **corpsehusband** :

don't be embarrassed

 **corpsehusband** :

it's natural just listen to your body

 **sykkuno** :

alright if you say so 

**sykkuno** :

i'll be back to take care of some business...

 **corpsehusband** :

yup have fun  
  


* * *

Sykkuno sprawls in his sheets, chewing at his lower lip anxiously. Corpse was right. This is completely natural, he isn't doing anything wrong. _You're not three, man,_ he reminds himself after a quick debriefing, _just get it over with._ He slips his palm past his waistband, his fingers coiling over his base—shivering at the imagery of _him._ _Him_ , being his online friend's penis. Causing his own to needly throb, a warm bead of pre-cum heavy on his slit. Sure, that man's voice probably supplied to _most_ sexually conflicted people but surely not his own, right? For fucks sake, he's straight. Like a board, or ruler, even table. He comes with an abrupt conclusion that his brain can suck cock (hopefully corpse's): _well sykkuno, boards can break, there's a thing called bendy rulers, and tables can be hit by meteors, duh._ To which, Corpse played the very role of. Y'know, maybe he's misinterpreting this shit. He's lonely, of course, he's going to feel a little excited when he's brought face to face with a crude situation like his own—regardless of gender. Despite this, he fulfills his orgasm, refuting docile facts like, yes, _maybe_ he came to the thought of Corpse's cock, and yes, _maybe_ he didn't have to touch himself to get hard. _Since miraculously, he already fucking was._

* * *

**sykkuno** :

that was refreshing

 **corpsehusband** :

mhm same here

 **sykkuno** :

you did it too?

 **corpsehusband** :

yuh

 **sykkuno** :

i have a confession

 **corpsehusband** :

what’s up butter cup

 **sykkuno** :

i lied


	4. oh fuck my finger slipped (the sequel)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> corpse has gone and done it again (what a shocker)

**corpsehusband** :

sorry what

 **sykkuno** :

i didn’t actually have to do anything i was already uhm because of your uh so I uh

 **sykkuno** :

i should just stop

 **corpsehusband** :

no no keep going

 **corpsehusband** :

this is actually really interesting

 **sykkuno** :

it is?

 **corpsehusband** :

yeah because I did the same thing

 **sykkuno** :

oh

 **sykkuno** :

was that meant to make me feel better?

 **corpsehusband** :

something in that sorts

 **sykkuno** :

every time i think about your penis i think back on the pink sparkles surrounding it

 **corpsehusband** :

was it a turn off?

 **sykkuno** :

just a little

 **corpsehusband** :

just a little

 **corpsehusband** :

if you want I can send one without the filter

 **corpsehusband** :

for no reason in particular

 **sykkuno** :

pft sure

 **sykkuno** :

but there’s no real meaning behind it of course

 **corpsehusband** :

yup none at all

 **corpsehusband** :

in fact it was just an accident

* * *

corpsehusband has sent a photo✔️  
  
  


* * *

 **  
sykkuno** :

oh no look you’ve gone and done it again 

**corpsehusband** :

oh fuck my finger slipped

 **sykkuno** :

oh look mine did too

* * *

sykkuno has sent a photo✔️

* * *

**  
corpsehusband** :

how does one’s dick match their personality so perfectly

 **corpsehusband** :

pretty and magnetic

 **sykkuno** :

i could say just the same about yours

 **sykkuno** :

really hot

 **corpsehusband** :

I’ll get permanent smile marks if you keep that up

 **sykkuno** :

i’m willing to take responsibility

 **corpsehusband** :

are you sure about that?

 **sykkuno** :

oh yeah definitely

 **corpsehusband** :

so sykkuno I don’t take you as a kinky man

 **corpsehusband** :

but hypothetically

 **corpsehusband** :

just hypothetically

 **corpsehusband** :

what would you be into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully my writers block doesn’t run out before I can finish this fic but don’t worry there’s more to come :) prepare yourselves though I might even add some angst if I’m feeling evil enough mwahaha


	5. sykkuno shouldn’t be surprised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and he’s not.

**sykkuno** :

that’s kinda tricky

 **sykkuno** :

see i’m a simple guy

 **sykkuno** :

but i really like the idea of being tied up/tying up someone

 **corpsehusband** :

that’s as basic as it gets

 **corpsehusband** :

what do you like to do after being tied/typing someone up

 **sykkuno** :

y’know just the regular stuff...

 **corpsehusband** :

indulge me

 **sykkuno** :

...

 **sykkuno** :

orgasm-control and edging i guess

 **corpsehusband** :

woah

 **corpsehusband** :

that’s awesome

 **sykkuno** :

mhm so what about you?

 **corpsehusband** :

maybe age play? I honestly don’t know man I just the domineering type

 **sykkuno** :

that suits you

 **sykkuno** :

wait what’s age play

 **corpsehusband** :

uhh

 **corpsehusband** :

you know that daddy dom and subspace adult shit?

 **corpsehusband** :

it’s that

 **sykkuno** :

ooh that definitely suits you

 **corpsehusband** :

yup

 **sykkuno** :

to what extent does it go to? i’m curious

 **corpsehusband** :

I honestly draw the line at public sex. Maybe public age regression but not public sex. That could cause a virgin amount of problems dude

 **corpsehusband** :

but I’m okay with things like punishments and anything that they’d like to do it’s honestly sort of adorable

 **sykkuno** :

that sounds fun

 **sykkuno** :

have you tried it before?

 **corpsehusband** :

no no

 **corpsehusband** :

this might take you by surprise but I’m pretty damn single

 **corpsehusband** :

that and even if I did have a girlfriend I don’t think she’d be into that

 **sykkuno** :

i mean

 **sykkuno** :

you never know

 **sykkuno** :

there’s a lot of people who are willing to date you

 **corpsehusband** :

yeah but only for my voice lmao

 **corpsehusband** :

they might be disappointed when they see my face and it’s not as fuck-worthy

 **sykkuno** :

your face is f-worthy

 **sykkuno** :

plus you have a good personality and that’s all that matters

 **corpsehusband** :

you know what sykkuno

 **corpsehusband** :

you’re a sweetheart

 **corpsehusband** :

I wish I could find someone as endearing as you

 **corpsehusband** :

you remind me of a puppy

 **sykkuno** :

ahh snsns

 **sykkuno** :

i’m sure you’ll find someone very soon

 **corpsehusband** :

hopefully not

 **sykkuno** :

why do you say that?

 **corpsehusband** :

who needs a lover when I have such a good friend like you?

* * *

> _**“friend”** _

_~~right~~._

* * *

**  
sykkuno** :

haha yeah

 **sykkuno** :

i’m glad you feel the same

 **sykkuno** :

it’s getting late

 **sykkuno** :

i’m gonna go to sleep

 **corpsehusband** :

ah yes

 **corpsehusband** :

have a wonderful sleep good sir

 **sykkuno** :

it takes one to know one? :)

 **corpsehusband** :

aw

 **corpsehusband** :

night

 **sykkuno** :

night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feels bad


	6. i caught you red-handed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is driving him crazy, and maybe it’s for the better.

**corpsehusband** :

good morning

 **sykkuno** :

morning

 **corpsehusband** :

how’d you sleep?

 **sykkuno** :

hmmm it’s good how about you?

 **corpsehusband** :

it was good but my cat scared the shit out of me at 3am and I almost kicked it

 **corpsehusband** :

oops

 **sykkuno** :

pft

 **sykkuno** :

that’s exactly why i don’t have a cat

 **corpsehusband** :

smh

 **sykkuno** :

are you going to stream with us today?

 **corpsehusband** :

yup

 **sykkuno** :

ay

 **corpsehusband** :

lmao we stream together like everyday

 **sykkuno** :

yeah but it’s always a good experience to hear you laugh

 **corpsehusband** :

ahhhhh stop ittt I’ll get the wrong idea

* * *

_~~maybe i want you to~~ _

~~maybe~~

**i**

**want**

**you**

~~to~~

* * *

**sykkuno** :

lololol your words not mine “i’m just teasing”

 **corpsehusband** :

you caught me red-handed


	7. confliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> that sour tangible pang in his chest surely isn’t jealousy, yes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have fun with the angst >:)

**corpsehusband** :

hey sykkuno do you have anyone you like?

 **sykkuno** :

not at the moment

 **sykkuno** :

why?

 **corpsehusband** :

no reason in particular I just wanted to know your type

 **sykkuno** :

ah

 **sykkuno** :

i’m not so sure myself either   
  


> _conflicted._

**sykkuno** :

but maybe someone i could trust?

 **sykkuno** :

someone that wouldn’t take advantage of me 

**sykkuno** :

i don’t think i have a specific type

 **sykkuno** :

per say i want to have an established relationship where i don’t feel

> _conflicted._

__

**sykkuno** :

i don’t know

 **sykkuno** :

at loss? afraid or anxious

 **corpsehusband** :

I find it really sad that you have to include that you want a healthy relationship

 **corpsehusband** :

it’s something that comes with it

 **corpsehusband** :

otherwise it isn’t love

 **sykkuno** :

my perception of love has become a little warped over the years

 **corpsehusband** :

do you want to be in a relationship?

 **sykkuno** :

honestly speaking

 **sykkuno** :

i do

 **sykkuno** :

but the people i trust aren’t the people i want to pursue

* * *

_something in corpse’s chest rumbles, numb and pulsing at the beckoning words._

> _**“the people i trust aren’t the people i want pursue”** _

* * *

**corpsehusband** :

that’s understandable

 **corpsehusband** :

I get that

 **corpsehusband** :

romantic feelings aren’t something you can force

_fuck, corpse. you show someone your dick like twice and you’re already falling? what are you, twelve?_

**sykkuno** :

yeah

 **sykkuno** :

it’s something i learned pretty recently too

 **corpsehusband** :

I thought you weren’t interested in anyone

 **sykkuno** :

well

 **sykkuno** :

it’s not that i’m not interested in them

 **sykkuno** :

it’s just that i shouldn’t be

 **corpsehusband** :

there’s no such thing

 **corpsehusband** :

you’re allowed to like whoever you want

 **corpsehusband** :

it’s all about respecting one another if you do that I don’t see a problem

 **sykkuno** :

ah but

 **sykkuno** :

it’s unrequited

 **corpsehusband** :

seriously?

 **corpsehusband** :

who in their right mind could not like you

> _you_

**corpsehusband** :

are they seeing or interested in someone else?

 **sykkuno** :

their not seeing anyone

 **sykkuno** :

but i’m not sure if their interested in anyone

 **sykkuno** :

what about you corpse?

 **sykkuno** :

are you interested in anyone?

> _i’m conflicted because of_

**corpsehusband** :

yeah

 _ ** ~~you~~ ** _

~~_**you** _ ~~


	8. corpsehusband is whipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sykkuno is no better.

**sykkuno** :

ooh what are they like?

 **corpsehusband** :

I wonder

 **corpsehusband** :

they’re a sweet person

 **corpsehusband** :

they really care about others

 **corpsehusband** :

a little more than they should sometimes

 **corpsehusband** :

I find that part of them extremely attractive 

**sykkuno** :

you should ask for their number

 **corpsehusband** :

I already did

 **sykkuno** :

what did they say?

 **corpsehusband** :

we’ve actually been texting for a while now

 **corpsehusband** :

but I only met them this year

 **sykkuno** :

what a lucky girl

* * *

_  
it’s better this way_

* * *

**corpsehusband** :

I highly doubt she likes me

 **sykkuno** :

well I highly doubt she doesn’t

* * *

_for the both of us_

* * *

**  
corpsehusband** :

to be frank she’s probably only into girls

 **sykkuno** :

that’s...

 **sykkuno** :

really rough

 **sykkuno** :

what makes you think that?

 **corpsehusband** :

she’s had a girlfriend in the past and sometimes makes it clear she doesn’t want a relationship with a male

 **corpsehusband** :

which is a shame but I respect

 **corpsehusband** :

as long as she’s happy

 **sykkuno** :

you’re very considerate to others

 **sykkuno** :

even if it isn’t her

 **sykkuno** :

they’ll be another and you’ll move on

 **sykkuno** :

and become just as happy

 **corpsehusband** :

thank you

 **corpsehusband** :

but the thought of moving on

 **corpsehusband** :

makes me sick to my stomach

* * *

_  
this is only infatuation.   
  
_

* * *


	9. fuck you and your pretty dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (no but seriously can I see your penis?)

Corpse is fully capable of acknowledging that his sexuality took a 180. That's why today was ridiculously fucking frustrating. He'd mulled over the web for a while now, searching for answers to supply his crisis. This was the shittiest thing to do because apparently, the internet is filled with useless advice and equally useless people. Point in case:  
  


> _Am I gay? I've never liked another guy in my life but recently this person is catching my eye. He's relatable and nice, I'm sexually attracted to him as much as I am personality-wise._
> 
> _Yes you're a gay faggot  
> _ _  
> _
> 
> _Probably, it's a dude_
> 
> _  
> __You might have been refuting being gay by saying you're straight because you don't like the idea of it?_

Which wasn't the issue, because Corpse was more open about sexuality than a fucking book.

> _You might be bi-curious? Try watching gay porn, it might give you the answers you're looking for._

Give or take, it wasn't bad advice. But it's not what he wants to hear, he wasn’t planning sightseeing cocks (other than for said crush, because yes.) Hm, fuck it, right? You only live once...his fingers click before he's given it much thought:

> _gay porn_

* * *

  
** twink joyrides alpha’s fat cock **

* * *

What the fuck? Is this supposed to be appealing? _Holy shit...that kids ass is literally tearing._ He finds getting hard to be one of the more difficult tasks. He even goes as far as to jerk off to a straight ad, but when nothing works he reaches for his smaller device in exasperation.

* * *

**corpsehusband** :

can I see you penis?

 **corpsehusband** :

I think you’ve given me erectile dysfunction

 **sykkuno** :

aren’t you straight?

 **corpsehusband** :

you tell me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I smell the ✨gay✨ and frankly it’s beautiful


	10. so no cock?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> corpse is a dumbass for being shocked by the outcome of a problem he created.

**sykkuno** :

i’m not sure if i should be flattered or

 **corpsehusband** :

sorry

 **corpsehusband** :

I didn’t mean to phrase it that way it’s just

 **corpsehusband** :

ever since I saw your dick I literally can not get hard

 **corpsehusband** :

I think somethings wrong with me

 **sykkuno** :

if something’s wrong with you there’s definitely something wrong with me

 **corpsehusband** :

wdym?

 **sykkuno** :

I think of you too

 **corpsehusband** :

this is problematic

 **corpsehusband** :

you’re straight

 **corpsehusband** :

I’m straight

 **sykkuno** :

maybe i’m just corpse-sexual

 **corpsehusband** :

and what does that make me?

 **corpsehusband** :

sykkuno-sexual?

 **corpsehusband** :

and isn’t that just necrophilia

 **sykkuno** :

should we just forget?

 **corpsehusband** :

what’s there to forget?

 **sykkuno** :

we both have someone we like

 **sykkuno** :

i’d feel like I was robbing someone of their time with you

 **corpsehusband** :

what?

 **corpsehusband** :

I really don’t understand what you’re tying to say

 **corpsehusband** :

You wouldn’t be burden, otherwise I wouldn’t be asking you

 **sykkuno** :

ah

 **sykkuno** :

and what exactly are you asking for?

* * *

**what**

**are**

**you**

**asking**

**for?**

* * *

**  
sykkuno** :

we’re friends

 **sykkuno** :

i will always pick friendship over any relationship with you

~~oh~~

_oh_

**sykkuno** :

i care for you

 **sykkuno** :

it’s not because i think i might be a burden

 **sykkuno** :

but because i _am_ a burden

 **sykkuno** :

i respect you a lot

* * *

_did I just get friendzoned?_

* * *

**corpsehusband** :

honestly I’m a little disappointed

 **corpsehusband** :

“I respect you a lot”

 **corpsehusband** :

those are empty words coming from someone who can’t even respect themselves.

 **corpsehusband** :

frankly, it’s an ugly look on you

sykkuno has logged off✔️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, i’m evil >:)


	11. i feel pathetic (under your stagnant gaze)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> corpse wants to be forgiven

**corpsehusband** :

sykkuno

**corpsehusband** :

I’m sorry

**corpsehusband** :

I lost control of my emotions it was really immature of me

**corpsehusband** :

I just want you to love yourself, because you really fucking deserve it

**corpsehusband** :

I’ll give you space

**corpsehusband:**

even if it takes a while, I promise to be patient

**corpsehusband:**

just please contact me when you’re ready to talk, okay bud?

**corpsehusband** :

fuck stream, you don’t have to even mention me if you don’t feel like it. whatever’s comfortable for you

**corpsehusband** :

eat well


	12. just a little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sykkuno speaks his mind

**sykkuno** :

stop.

**sykkuno** :

i should be the one apologizing.

**sykkuno** :

i’m an adult yet i left that conversation without properly settling it

**sykkuno** :

but i don’t think we know each other well enough to judge one another

**sykkuno** :

i’ll be frank. we don’t know each other at all

**sykkuno** :

that’s why i’m apologizing to you

**sykkuno** :

because i acted arrogantly and selfishly

**corpsehusband** :

you’re completely right

**corpsehusband** :

we don’t

**corpsehusband** :

but you’re allowed to be arrogant and selfish

**corpsehusband** :

you’re human I don’t expect any less

**corpsehusband** :

that goes without saying that there were a lot of misunderstanding’s between the both of us so I’m going to say it straight

**corpsehusband** :

I have romantic feelings for you

**sykkuno** :

is that really saying it straight?

**sykkuno** :

pft sorry sorry

**corpsehusband** :

lmfao

**sykkuno** :

yeah i have feelings for you too

**corpsehusband** :

okay

**corpsehusband** :

that’s a good start

**corpsehusband** :

anything else you wanna get out of the way?

**sykkuno** :

uh yeah

**sykkuno** :

don’t you like someone?

**corpsehusband** :

I was talking about you

**corpsehusband** :

I just didn’t want to know because I wasn’t even sure myself

**corpsehusband** :

even now I’m still going through an existential crisis

**sykkuno** :

ooh

**sykkuno** :

well that makes a lot of sense

**sykkuno** :

it was pretty much the same situation for me

**sykkuno** :

now that i think back on it we’re kinda dumb

**corpsehusband** :

just a little

**sykkuno** : just a little


	13. give me sec, need’a get my dick working

**corpsehusband** :

hey how are you feeling 

**corpsehusband** :

I saw you drinking a shit ton on stream

 **sykkuno** :

mhm

 **sykkuno** :

i’m goolsd

 **sykkuno** :

just kindal

 **sykkuno** :

horny?

 **corpsehusband** :

oh fuck

 **corpsehusband** :

did you want help?

 **sykkuno** :

pleas

 **corpsehusband** :

let me get hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was hella short but it’s because it’s calm before the storm :) be prepared for (more) flirting, awkward sexting, and dirty talk because y e s. I’m also shit at transitions so that’s also why 🥺
> 
> this is just a rant but: there’s this fucking chicken outside that my neighbor’s keep and I swear it doesn’t even make chicken noises it sounds like it smoked 100 packs of cigs and gives blowjob’s for a living I- if I can’t sleep it’s because of the chicken but thank you for all of your concerns 💞🥺 I’m deadass only 15 I need to stop holy shit. 🤡


	14. hellopleasecumonmyfacethankyoubye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay ensues

* * *

  
corpse sent a video✔️

* * *

**sykkuno** :

“your cock is so pretty and pink”

 **sykkuno** :

“i wonder what it would be like to swallow it whole”

 **sykkuno** :

“for your cum to drip slowly down my wet lips”

 **sykkuno** :

“and melt deliciously on my ready tongue.”

 **sykkuno** :

well that sure as hell sobered me up

 **sykkuno** :

what are you, a poet?

* * *

sykkuno sent a video✔️

* * *

**corpsehusband** :

“oh, do you now?”

 **corpsehusband** :

“why don’t you come and find out?”

 **corpsehusband** :

who are you and what did you do to sykkuno

 **corpsehusband** :

...

 **corpsehusband** :

all jokes aside I really wanna find out

 **corpsehusband** :

like deadass

 **sykkuno** :

if we can come to an agreement i’m sure it could work out

 **sykkuno** :

but first

 **sykkuno** :

let’s take care of business

 **corpsehusband** :

I really love this confident side of you

 **corpsehusband** :

it’s really fucking...

 **corpsehusband** :

arousing

 **corpsehusband** :

I wanna keep seeing more of you

 **corpsehusband** :

until I find something exclusive to me

* * *

sykkuno sent a photo✔️

* * *

**corpsehusband** :

ohmyfuckinggodyournipplesaresocute

 **corpsehusband** :

you actually might give me a heart attack

 **sykkuno** :

pft

* * *

corpsehusband sent a video✔️

* * *

**sykkuno** :

hearing you moan sends shivers down my spine

 **sykkuno** :

I’m spooked

 **corpsehusband** :

uh hello you’re the epitome of chills 

**corpsehusband** :

my boner approves 

**sykkuno** :

glad we’re on the same page

 **corpsehusband** :

I wish I could see you in real life

 **sykkuno** :

then

 **sykkuno** :

are you free next week?

 **corpsehusband** :

do you even have to ask?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooohh who lived in a pineapple under the sea 🤠


	15. more gay for days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> grade a dorks

**corpsehusband** :

I haven’t been this genuinely excited since kindergarten

**corpsehusband** :

I was trading Pokémon cards with a friend

**corpsehusband** :

I thought it was genius because I gave him all my shitty cards for his good ones

**corpsehusband** :

but I kinda feel bad about it now

**sykkuno** :

poor kid

**sykkuno** :

you’re evil

**corpsehusband** :

I know

**corpsehusband** :

I’m just seething with guilt

**sykkuno** :

pftt turn yourself in you criminal

**corpsehusband** :

yes sir

**corpsehusband** :

I will repent for my sins

**sykkuno** :

as you should

**corpsehusband** :

😏

**sykkuno** :

sjsjsns oh my god you’re crazy

**sykkuno** :

you dirty, dirty boy

**corpsehusband** :

I can’t believe it’s in six days

**corpsehusband** :

what am supposed to do for a six days

**sykkuno** :

it goes by faster than you think

**sykkuno** :

also

**sykkuno** :

i’ll send you the hotel and room number the day before since i have roommates

**corpsehusband** :

you don’t want them to hear?

**sykkuno** :

...

**sykkuno** :

the walls are thin

**sykkuno** :

they’d never let me live down to it

**sykkuno** :

i’ve also been trying to prep myself for a few days

**corpsehusband** :

how was it?

**sykkuno** :

at first it was weird since the feeling was so foreign

**sykkuno** :

but when i got used to it

**sykkuno** :

it started to feel good

**corpsehusband** :

I kinda wanna see that

**sykkuno** :

no

**sykkuno** :

you gotta wait

**sykkuno** :

i want it to be a surprise

**corpsehusband** :

aHH

**corpsehusband** :

okay fine

**corpsehusband** :

can I see your face?

**sykkuno** :

my face?

**corpsehusband** :

yeah I miss it

**corpsehusband** :

it’s really cute

**sykkuno** :

it’s not but i’ll do it for you

* * *

sykkuno sent a photo✔️

* * *

**corpsehusband** :

you’re so adorable bud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for anyone who watches anime what are your favorites? 😳


	16. roses are red, violets are blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i want to cum, but only in you

**sykkuno** :

four days

 **sykkuno** :

in four days you pop my back cherry

 **sykkuno** :

congrats

 **corpsehusband** :

you’ll be happy to know you’re the only guy I’ll probably have sex with too

 **corpsehusband** :

we’re both virgin gay

 **sykkuno** :

pft is that even a term

 **corpsehusband** :

yeah

 **corpsehusband** :

now it is

 **sykkuno** :

then

 **sykkuno** :

i’m a virgin gay too

 **sykkuno** :

but it doesn’t matter much for you since y’know

 **sykkuno** :

all you’re really doing is sticking it in

 **corpsehusband** :

hey

 **corpsehusband** :

fucking someone takes a lot of precision

 **corpsehusband** :

I’ve done my research

 **sykkuno** :

i’ll leave you in my care then

 **sykkuno** :

please handle me carefully

 **corpsehusband** :

don’t worry

 **corpsehusband** :

I’d never do anything to hurt you

 **corpsehusband** :

and I found out a lot of tricks to make you feel comfy and good

 **sykkuno** :

ooh

 **sykkuno** :

like what?

 **corpsehusband** :

lots and lots of lube

 **corpsehusband** :

and lots and lots of patience

 **corpsehusband** :

plus it might take me a hot sec to find your prostate

 **sykkuno** :

talking about this reminds me of how less than a month ago i only liked women

 **sykkuno** :

and it’s honestly kinda scary how natural the transition was

 **corpsehusband** :

do you believe in fate?

 **sykkuno** :

uh

 **sykkuno** :

yeah I think?

 **corpsehusband** :

I’m not saying this was meant to happen but

 **corpsehusband** :

that’s exactly what I’m saying

 **corpsehusband** :

I think everything that happens is like an intricate little design in the universe

 **sykkuno** :

that’s a nice way of thinking

 **sykkuno** :

but also a little terrifying at the same time

 **sykkuno** :

i mean

 **sykkuno** :

how would you feel knowing your whole life is planned for you

 **corpsehusband** :

probably trapped

 **corpsehusband** :

but in this case

 **corpsehusband** :

I’m really glad it happened

 **sykkuno** :

hm

 **sykkuno** :

me too

 **corpsehusband** :

holy shit we sound so cheesy

 **corpsehusband** :

I feel like a middle schooler after their first date

 **corpsehusband** :

sometimes I forget I’m an adult

 **corpsehusband** :

wack

 **sykkuno** :

oh i can get cheesier

 **sykkuno** :

you make my heart flutter💞

 **sykkuno** :

i feel as if i’m suffocating without you here

 **sykkuno** :

in this lonely bed of mine💔

 **corpsehusband** :

oh fuck stop

 **corpsehusband** :

I’ll actually die

 **sykkuno** :

roses are red

 **sykkuno** :

violets are blue

 **sykkuno** :

when you feel sad

 **sykkuno** :

i’m here for you 🥺

 **corpsehusband** :

roses are red

 **corpsehusband** :

watches are gold

 **corpsehusband** :

now get on your knees

 **corpsehusband** :

and do what you’re told

 **sykkuno** :

clever but

 **sykkuno** :

how deep do you like it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish we could all make a discord and chat about fan-fictions and what not if you guys are down I’m willing to make one but only if you’re down 😏 skejsm 
> 
> update: y’all I think my neighbors ate the chicken 😳


	17. to meet you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (would be my everything)

**corpsehusband** :

the anxiety is killing me

 **sykkuno** :

it’s almost surreal

 **sykkuno** :

i get to see your face for the first time

 **corpsehusband** :

you also get to see my dick in person

 **sykkuno** :

shameless

 **sykkuno** :

you’re absolutely shameless

 **corpsehusband** :

thank you

 **corpsehusband** :

I’d like to say it’s a defining feature

 **sykkuno** :

mhm

 **corpsehusband** :

oh yeah I have a surprise for you

 **sykkuno** :

what is it?

 **corpsehusband** :

it wouldn’t be a surprised if you I told you

 **corpsehusband** :

so you’re gonna have to wait

 **sykkuno** :

agh

 **sykkuno** :

can i at least have a hint

 **corpsehusband** :

nah

 **corpsehusband** :

you’re smart if I give you a hint you’ll just figure it out

 **corpsehusband** :

you’ll find out in three days

 **sykkuno** :

ah fine

 **sykkuno** :

when are you leaving for your plane?

 **corpsehusband** :

that Saturday morning

 **corpsehusband** :

I should be there by evening

 **sykkuno** :

oh shoot

 **sykkuno** :

i’m late for a stream

 **corpsehusband** :

oh shit I forgot we were playing today

 **sykkuno** :

pft wow

 **corpsehusband** :

meet you there?

 **sykkuno** :

meet you there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i’m actually really shocked that people wanted to join a discord with me 😭 ilysm guys💞 here’s the discord link:
> 
> https://discord.gg/NSwTkhuX
> 
> if that doesn’t work when you copy and paste then give me your discord user and number and I’ll personally send you an invite. :) it should work though because I made it so the code never expires


	18. fucking power bottoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the struggle is real

**sykkuno** :

the stream was

 **sykkuno** :

interesting

 **corpsehusband** :

oh yeah definitely

 **corpsehusband** :

you should wear cat ears more often

 **corpsehusband** :

it fucks me up

 **sykkuno** :

aksjsn oh god no

 **sykkuno** :

i don’t even get why you like it

 **sykkuno** :

it’s just cat ears

 **corpsehusband** :

anything you do fucks me up

 **corpsehusband** :

you should know this by now

 **sykkuno** :

i-

 **sykkuno** :

even if i did something disgusting?

 **corpsehusband** :

anything

 **corpsehusband** :

I like everything about you, especially the things you don’t

 **sykkuno** :

wow

 **sykkuno** :

you must like a lot of me then

 **corpsehusband** :

hey don’t say that

 **corpsehusband** :

you should love yourself

 **sykkuno** :

i’m working on it

 **sykkuno** :

it’s not easy though

 **corpsehusband** :

I know

 **corpsehusband** :

but I’ll help you through it

 **corpsehusband** :

okay?

 **sykkuno** :

god you’re so sweet

 **sykkuno** :

it’s kinda crazy how nice you are

 **corpsehusband** :

you’re like the sweetest thing ever wdym

 **corpsehusband** :

an actual angel

 **sykkuno** :

jesus christ you’re right

 **sykkuno** :

we sound like grade schoolers

 **corpsehusband** :

then

 **corpsehusband** :

want me to talk dirty?

 **sykkuno** :

nononono

 **sykkuno** :

i mean

 **sykkuno** :

only if you want to

 **sykkuno** :

wait nonono

 **sykkuno** :

you’re like the devil whispering in my hear

 **corpsehusband** :

c’mon baby boy don’t be shy

 **sykkuno** :

i’m actually cringing

 **sykkuno** :

is this payback from last time?

 **corpsehusband** :

put those fingers of yours to use

 **sykkuno** :

but i’m using them to text you :(

 **corpsehusband** :

shouldn’t you be practicing?

 **corpsehusband** :

ah

 **corpsehusband** :

or are you confident enough to take my thick cock?

 **sykkuno** :

sjsjdn

 **sykkuno** :

why, you jealous of my fingers or something?

 **corpsehusband** :

fuck

**corpsehusband:**

I’m just gonna go lie down and die now

 **sykkuno** :

that’s cute

 **sykkuno** :

don’t be embarrassed

 **corpsehusband** :

FUCKING POWER BOTTOMS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently I didn’t post this chapter even though I though I did whoops


	19. ripe yet bitter (the taste of your love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> corpse’s morning dilemma

**corpsehusband** :

I’m never going out again

 **corpsehusband** :

so apparently

 **corpsehusband** :

I went to the wrong terminal

 **corpsehusband** :

and the ticket guy was trying to to explain how my plane wasn’t even in the same building 

**corpsehusband** :

but since I’m deaf

 **corpsehusband** :

I leaned in to listen but accidentally dropped coffee all over his nice white shirt

 **corpsehusband** :

long story short I’m being sued for 1st-degree burns

 **sykkuno** :

wait what

 **sykkuno** :

please tell me you’re joking

 **corpsehusband** :

I’m not

 **sykkuno** :

well at least we saved a pair of bedsheets

 **corpsehusband** :

ok

 **corpsehusband** :

I’m joking

 **corpsehusband** :

but it’s a true story and I feel really guilty

 **corpsehusband** :

luckily it wasn’t too hot and he was cool about it

 **corpsehusband** :

but seriously, I had to sprint to the nearest shuttle so I could make it to the boarding area

 **corpsehusband** :

turns out the flight was delayed for half an hour and now I’m here telling you about my oh so traumatizing experience

 **corpsehusband** :

the things I do for love

 **sykkuno** :

w o w

 **sykkuno** :

to be fair that’s your own fault

 **corpsehusband** :

when did you get so cheeky with me?

 **corpsehusband** :

you were so cute and shy like five month ago

 **corpsehusband** :

maybe I should discipline you 

**sykkuno** :

you made me drop my salad

 **sykkuno** :

smh

 **corpsehusband** :

should I add a little mayonnaise to it?

 **sykkuno** :

sir

 **sykkuno** :

calm yourself

 **sykkuno** :

you are in the middle of an airport

 **sykkuno** :

a i r p o r t

 **corpsehusband** :

psh

 **corpsehusband** :

people have sex at airports all the time

 **sykkuno** :

uh?

 **sykkuno** :

where do you live that caused you to normalize that?

 **sykkuno** :

i’m equally curious as i am concerned

 **sykkuno** :

actually

 **sykkuno** :

probably more of the latter

 **corpsehusband** :

oh

 **corpsehusband** :

we’re boarding

 **corpsehusband** :

wait no I need to pee

 **corpsehusband** :

fuck

 **sykkuno** :

yup entirely your own fault

 **corpsehusband** :

agh it’s fine these bathrooms are disgusting anyways

 **sykkuno** :

i can only imagine

 **sykkuno** :

seeing as people have sex in them

 **corpsehusband** :

y’know what

 **corpsehusband** :

I will punish you

 **corpsehusband** :

what was it you liked?

 **corpsehusband** :

orgasm control was it?

 **sykkuno** :

wjwjsnsn i surrender

 **sykkuno** :

don’t you have a flight to catch?

 **corpsehusband** :

oh shit

 **sykkuno** :

have a nice flight

* * *

> with the slightest twitch of his thumbs, a grin stretches along the seams of his ruddy cheeks

* * *

**sykkuno** :

i love you

 **corpsehusband** :

I love you too

* * *

in his blank slate, he ponders: _feeling like a child, huh, not being in control of my emotions?_ _so why is this so endearing?_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the sex is coming soon I hope you’re excited >:) beware I’m not that good with smut but I will do my best and fulfill your spicy needs


	20. 19.5 (f: 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where sykkuno sends the dick pic instead of corpse

* * *

sykkuno has sent a photo✔️

* * *

**  
sykkuno** :

oh my gosh

 **sykkuno** :

i’m so so sorry

 **sykkuno** :

please

 **sykkuno** :

i’m sorry

 **corpsehusband** :

was it an accident?

 **sykkuno** :

it was

 **sykkuno** :

i pressed the wrong button

 **sykkuno** :

jeremy said there was a filter to make your penis into a cock...like a rooster

 **corpsehusband** :

toast?

 **sykkuno** :

yes

 **corpsehusband** :

don’t worry

 **corpsehusband** :

it happens

 **sykkuno** :

i can’t stop crying

 **sykkuno** :

i feel really bad i’m so sorry you had to see that

 **sykkuno** :

if you don’t want to stream with me anymore I understand

 **corpsehusband** :

hey

 **corpsehusband** :

don’t cry bud

 **corpsehusband** :

I’m not mad or anything

 **corpsehusband** :

besides it’s just your dick

 **corpsehusband** :

no biggie really

 **sykkuno** :

maybe not for you

 **sykkuno** :

but i’ve never sent anything like that to anyone

 **sykkuno** :

let alone it being another man

 **sykkuno** :

not that there’s anything wrong with that

 **corpsehusband** :

yeah I know

 **corpsehusband** :

you’re straight

 **corpsehusband** :

I am too

 **corpsehusband** :

don’t stress about it though, okay?

 **corpsehusband** :

I’ll act like this never happened if you want me to

 **sykkuno** :

i would appreciate that a lot...

 **sykkuno** :

thank you.

 **corpsehusband** :

of course

 **corpsehusband** :

also

 **corpsehusband** :

I think toast was just fucking with you

 **sykkuno** :

yeah

 **sykkuno** :

me too

* * *

**sykkuno** :

i hope you’re happy

 **sykkuno** :

i accidentally sent dick pics to corpse because of you

 **sykkuno** :

you’re an asshole

**sykkuno** :

... 

**sykkuno** :

stop laughing

 **disguisedtoast** :

I need to make a video out of this

 **disguisedtoast** :

wait I’m sorry

 **disguisedtoast** :

please don’t break my doorknob I just got that fixed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one:  
> absolutely nobody in the universe:  
> sykkuno: _sends unintentional nudes to corpse_  
>  toast: c o n t e n t
> 
> stonks go brrr


	21. in which, corpse is a literal, factual dumbass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sykkuno and Corpse meet.

The breeze is quiet, subtle on his bare skin. The evening hue paints his eyes a kind hazel, soft as he probes his phone for the tenth time that hour. He should be here any minute, Corpse gnaws on on his lower lip, fuck, what am I supposed to say? Any normal person would greet their friend accordingly, but Corpse isn't a normal person—and he Sykkuno isn't a friend. Or was he? What even was their relationship—were they dating now, or just friends with benefits? Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone, Sykunno said he loved him. _Oh, for fucks sake-_

"Uh, excuse me," the voice sends him flying, "Are you waiting for someone?" He has to physically bite his tongue to stop himself from screaming bloody fucking murder because holy shit: he's even more gorgeous in person (is that even possible?) With a nonchalant shrug, the other stares at him hesitantly before turning to leave, "Ah, okay. Thank you, si-"

"Wait," he holds a palm to his face, "Sorry, I was just dazed by," this time using both, "your hard on?" Sykkuno is unimpressed.   


* * *

"Y'know," Sykkuno snickers, "for someone who has, and I quote, ’good social skills’—you're bad at interacting with others." Corpse groans, "Yo, it wasn't my fault that the receptionist kept making shitty eye-contact. I swear she was staring into my fucking soul." Sykkuno snorts, "Oh?" They approach their guest suite quicker than anticipated, "And I'm guessing the coffee guy must have done the same thing." Once inside, the taller sets his bag near the entrance, smirking, "Mhm, well then. Tell me, do you wanna do it before or after dinner?" Sykkuno doesn't fluster up like Corpse expects him to, instead retorts, "Why not both?" Corpse's lips extend even further, "Fair enough," pacing then pulling him in, pecking his reddish lips, "But don't blame me if you're too full for another meal."

_The taste of cheap, cherry chap-stick, is sickeningly delicious._

* * *

At first glance, Sykkuno can tell a lot of things about Corpse. But three things really stick out to him.

1.

_Corpse's is hot._

Just not in your typical, dreamy way. Everything about Corpse's face is exactly what you’d impicion, only better. Sure, his jawline is nothing but perfect, and his nose is just as straight as Jeremy's sexuality but holy shit are these man's eyes are intimidating. They're sharp battered with full, thick brown eyelashes. The narrow trace compliments his arched brows that are neatly groomed. Corpse keeps his face tidy, including his lack of facial hair, to which Sykunno approves wholeheartedly. His hair is dyed a jet black in red undertones, curly and wild—bouncing whenever the 5'10 man took another step forward. It makes him wonder, is that guy seriously going to take my gay virginity? 

2.

_Piercings._

Sykkuno straight up creams when he sets his gaze with the lethal, glorious sight. In total, Corpse has roughly 12 piercings on his face alone. Three on his left ear and six on his right. One on his lower lip, tongue, and a vertical on the rear of his right brow. It not until later that his suspicions are confirmed that, yes, Corpse has cock piercing.

3.

_Tattoos._

While it's not visible at first glimpse, as soon as Corpse's guides him to the bed and strips his shirt, along his lower abdomen of his well built body a single word lies:

> 𝓽𝓻𝔂𝓼𝓽

in black, formal lettering.

* * *

As if a done thousand times over, Corpse leans in for their second kiss. He's rough and splotchy but keen to distract Sykkuno from that nervous twist in his stomach; to replace it with a trembling need. Sykkuno doesn't keep him waiting, peering down eagerly, "Can I suck you off?" The other has to repress a laugh, "Are you asking me or my dick?" Sykkuno is quick to make eye contact, "Both?" The streamer squirms under his hold, only ever being released after a parting kiss of some sort, the weight lifting simultaneously, "Give it a shot" Sykkuno hoists himself into a sitting position, scanning his friend(?) who is promptly unbuckling his pants, a cue to rid his own. "I'll be honest," he starts, halfway into throwing off his navy tee, "I don't know if I'm good at this or not."

"Think of it as a lollipop, only bigger."

It's no wonder that Corpse is hard, pre-cum oozing from his slit. Simply exasperated by the size of the thing. Even if he's seen it beforehand and both mentally and physically prepared himself in the process, he wondered if it would even remotely be possible for the length to enter him. Hesitant, he creeps towards it—an invisible barrier of heat surrounding the manhood. It's now or never, he reckons. Little by little, he plods close enough chin to touch. Stretching his lips and buckling down, engulfing Corpse's pinkly parts. Sykkuno circles the crown with his tongue, using his hold to grapple the other's remaining bits. He whirls the piercing well, the metallic ring heavy in throat. Like a lollipop, huh? Sure as hell doesn't taste like one. He’s flimsy, gasping for his dear life while all senses scream at him to please someone else despite of his discomfort. _Thank God Corpse is his biggest simp._

"Remember how I said I had a surprise?"

Sykkuno pops off, nodding silently.

“Well, how do you feel about cock rings?” Corpse straightens himself, clearing his throat, “And,” he murmurs under his breath, “Do I prep you before or after?”

* * *

Sykkuno never expected to cry, to beg for another man’s affirmation. Not in his twenty-eight-years of living did the man think he’d find himself being fucked relentlessly my a member of the same gender—luckily for him, Corpse is just as unprepared as he is (anyone with common sense would see this as a bad thing, but not your old pal Sykkuno, no he’s used to regulating an existential crisis by now.) “Did you bring lube?” Sykkuno sniffles, “I think people are supposed to do this with lube, Corpse.” Corpse nods, “Yeah I do, I was just curious if you could get wet like a woman.” Abruptly, he reaches for his discarded pants, clawing for the thick bump in one of the holes.

Sykkuno growls, "Only an idiot carries lube in their back pocket,” only to choke on saliva after Corpse removes a thick finger, “A-And why would I get wet like a woman? Not even women themselves get wet from behind. I thought you said you knew what you were doing?” Corpse uncaps the small product, “I’ll do it right, and if I fuck up you can just slap my dick or something, okay baby?”

_What the fuck? Sorry- Baby? Oh, so he’s doing pet names no-_

An index finger swivels in painlessly—neither is it pleasurable. That is until Corpse wiggles around. Paving way for a much larger object. He gives Sykkuno time to alter or at least enough until his spamming comes to a stagnant halt. “Give me a second, I’ll make it feel good for you.” The spread stings, he was a fool to believe this part came easy. True to his word, Corpse meets way with a hard mass and caresses it feebly. “More,” tears sputter Sykkuno’s vision, “Please.” His wish is Corpse’s command; leaving the larger to rub stiff circles deep center. Futile whines escaping his glossy lips, blossom and plump.

“Sy, I’m putting in another, ‘kay?” Sykkuno offers a trembling thumb like life insurance.

The third finger makes breathing difficult. Who knew there was such a substantial difference between using your fingers and someone else’s, his heart is drumming out of his fucking chest. “Are you ready?” _No, not really._ “I’m going to put it in.” The foil of what Sykkuno can only guess is a condom crams his ears. _Fuck me silly, literally_. Corpse doesn’t ask again, positioning himself accordingly. The younger is gentle, holding Sykkuno’s throbbing cock in one hand and his own in the other. Sykkuno seeks friction, buckling his hips in search of that melting sensation.

Corpse drizzles on a generous amount of lube, missing an embarrassing amount of times before the product can even touch his him. (He needs to have a discussion with whoever the hell makes these bottles) With a quick stroke, he re-positions himself. And finally, after an entirety of wait—pushes in. Sykkuno yelps, too tight to take much more than Corpse’s head. A moan shutters from him, he’s never done anal with his ex before, and now he’s solemnity regretting that decision. The lube is quick-acting and allows him to entirely immerse moments later. Allowing Sykkuno to adjust to his size, moving diligently when he’s positive Sykkuno is still breathing. Otherwise, it’s just reverse necrophilia. 

After trial and error of ‘too slow to cum’ and ‘too fast for Sykkuno’s poor virgin asshole’ they come to terms with a pace. In those two golden minutes of white pleasure, Corpse can think of nothing. If anyone were to rob him of this moment he’d go insane. He cum’s, he himself doesn’t remember when. Only sensing a thick substance filling the plastic configuration. “Take it off,” Sykkuno begs, “I-I need to cum.” _Ah, yes._ Corpse should have seriously considered getting a rubber ring instead.

* * *

"Are you saying I'm going to have to live with a ring on dick for the rest of my life?"

“Did you like the surprise?”   


“I’ll literally give you another cock piercing say sike.” 

* * *

**sykkuno** :

i’ve been meaning to ask this but

**sykkuno** :

is your tattoo a name?

**corpsehusband** :

why?

**corpsehusband** :

jealous?

**sykkuno** :

no

**sykkuno** :

of course i’m not

**corpsehusband** :

tryst

**corpsehusband** :

it’s a word

**corpsehusband** :

I really loved the meaning of the word so I got it tattooed a few years back hoping I could do something like that 

**corpsehusband** :

you should look it up I’m shit at explaining things

**sykkuno** :

rebellious type, aren’t you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guy so that was the official last chapter of the fic 
> 
> I know, I know, don’t be mad :( but there will be some filler chapters I’ll be posting very soon so there’s that to look forward to. 
> 
> And I’m so so so sorry I’m really bad at writing smut this was definitely not my proudest moment 😔✋💔 I’ll become better and give you more worthy content in the future.


	22. “i’m pregnant” (f: 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sykkuno tries to prank corpse ✨👁👁✨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (f) = filler :)

**sykkuno** :

i think i’m pregnant

 **corpsehusband** :

cap

 **sykkuno** :

i’m being serious

 **sykkuno** :

i think you’ve impregnated me

 **corpsehusband** :

cap

 **sykkuno** :

i took a pregnancy test

 **sykkuno** :

and it came out positive

 **corpsehusband** :

jesus fuck

 **corpsehusband** :

I feel bad for woman who used that brand and gave their hopes up

 **corpsehusband** :

cruel 

**sykkuno** :

i have the symptoms too

 **corpsehusband** :

ayo

 **corpsehusband** :

what

 **sykkuno** :

i’ve been feeling nauseous lately

 **corpsehusband** :

maybe you just ate something bad

 **corpsehusband** :

you okay?

 **sykkuno** :

i’ve been more tired than usual

 **corpsehusband** :

you stream with sleepless nights that’s a given

 **sykkuno** :

i’ve also had really weird cravings recently

 **sykkuno** :

like yesterday

 **sykkuno** :

i wanted to eat garlic

 **sykkuno** :

straight garlic

 **corpsehusband** :

uh

 **corpsehusband** :

your tastebuds are changing?

 **sykkuno** :

i think i’m getting a baby bump too?

 **corpsehusband** :

you’re just gaining weight

 **sykkuno** :

that’s mean

 **corpsehusband** :

do you realize how ridiculous you sound?

 **corpsehusband** :

you don’t have ovaries let alone a uterus

 **sykkuno** :

i took the test twice

 **sykkuno** :

two separate brands

 **corpsehusband** :

...

 **corpsehusband** :

I need to walk my dog

 **sykkuno** :

april fool’s?

 **corpsehusband** :

it’s december.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn’t an mpreg chapter 😔✋ istg sykkuno was just trying to be cute lmaoo


	23. “your voice is hot” (f: 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sykkuno his phone. a kind stranger with a low, arousing voice wants to help return it.

**unknown** :

hello?

**unknown** :

sorry for contacting you this way but I wasn’t sure what else to try

**unknown** :

if you happen to see this then that means you found my phone

**unknown** :

the password is 258354

**sykkuno** :

you shouldn’t give random strangers your password smh

**sykkuno** :

it’s dangerous

**unknown** :

oh

**unknown** :

well i sure hope you’re not a bad person

**sykkuno** :

are you being sarcastic?

**unknown** :

no i’m being completely serious of you’re a bad person that’s trying to leak my secrets i’d cry 

**sykkuno** :

that makes me even more curious 

**unknown** :

...

**sykkuno** :

I’m being funny so laugh 

**sykkuno** :

I’ll give you back your phone just give me a place and time

**unknown** :

:( tysm

**unknown** :

i’ll give you the information over phone is that alright?

**sykkuno** :

mhm that’ll be fine

**sykkuno** :

I’m a little awkward though

**unknown** :

me too

* * *

  
🎶(***)3290-323 is calling 🎶

* * *

“...”

“hello?”

“what’s up buttercup”

“oh jesus-”

“you good?”

“yeah, it’s just”

“your voice is hot”

“thanks man”

“sorry”

“was that weird?”

“just a little”

“I- _toast what are you doing- what? no- I don’t want to see your dick! dude what the fuc- get out!_ ”

“hm”

“maybe you should take up this ‘toast’ person on his offer”

“ _yeah sykkuno- wait that guy has a cool voice_ ”

“get. out.”

“...”

“sorry about that”

“my roommate’s existence is joke”

“he likes messing with me as a coping mechanism for his virginity”

“ _hey!_ ”

“I could tell”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so 🥺 i’m really sorry 🥺 i should have updated normally but my writers block came back before i could finish it 😔 so i’m using what’s left of my one braincell to power write i hope it not too shit 
> 
> oh yeah and merry almost christmas :) hope you guys eat lots and lots!


	24. my present to you (f: 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas special :)

**sykkuno** :

merry christmas!

 **corpsehusband** :

Merry Christmas :)

 **sykkuno** :

how was your day so far?

 **corpsehusband** :

boring without you

 **sykkuno** :

i-

 **sykkuno** :

me too

 **sykkuno** :

i miss you

 **corpsehusband** :

aw I miss you too

 **corpsehusband** :

I wish I could see you

 **sykkuno** :

well

 **sykkuno** :

you might not be able to see me but

 **sykkuno** :

you should check your mail

 **corpsehusband** :

on it

 **corpsehusband** :

oh and

 **corpsehusband** :

you should check your mail too

 **sykkuno** :

oh?

* * *

**sykkuno** :

...

 **sykkuno** :

i love you but

 **sykkuno** :

why

 **corpsehusband** :

this way when I'm not around you can still pleasure yourself :)

 **sykkuno** :

yeah but

 **sykkuno** :

a talking dildo?

 **corpsehusband** :

it was necessary

 **corpsehusband** :

thank you I love the cat ears

 **corpsehusband** :

very satisfied with my gift

 **corpsehusband** :

I hope you are as well

 **sykkuno** :

well i definitely should be

 **sykkuno** :

...

 **sykkuno** :

i literally can't

 **sykkuno** :

why is it playing e-girls are ruining my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aGh so that was the final (I promise) chapter 😩 anyways tysm for the unconditional support that I didn’t expect 🥺 I really love you guys. anyways I know it’s kinda early and today is Christmas Eve (at least for me) but Merry Christmas!


End file.
